appreciation Birthday CHILDREN daughter FAMILY Motherhood


My adopted daughter clocked 20
a few days ago and I have been thinking of the right words of advice to share
with her as she formally leaves teen-hood to womanhood.
Having passed through this
stage of life called ’20s’, did not make the words come easy. It feels
like we are generations apart (feeling so old *winking*). My
experiences and the things obtainable in my generation seem slightly old
So in the bid to help my
daughter take on her life at 20 and make the best of the years ahead, I took a
few hours to reflect deeply and also did a little research.

Here are 10 tips I shared with
her and pray it will help my beautiful, adorable and intelligent 20 year old
take on the world and be all God created her to be!
#1. Fear God
“The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom”. The reverence for the
all Supreme God should be your guide in ALL your dealings, actions,
decisions and even motives.  Having the fear of God will lead to no
regrets in life.
#2.  Surround
yourself with positive influencers.
Be mindful of the influence within and around you as they will affect you
positively or negatively. These influences will be a major determinant
of your thought pattern, behaviour and belief system. Be sure to heed
these wise words – If you want to be wise, surround yourself with wise people
as evil communication corrupts good morals.
#3. Dream Big.
Don’t allow any situation or circumstance to stifle your dreams. Go to
seemingly unattainable heights in your mind! Translate these dreams to
visible images that your physical eyes can see continuously. Get pictures from
the web that closely resemble your dream and paste it in a ‘dream book’. Do not
bother your mind on the ‘how’ to achieve it, at least for now. Just dream!
#4. Be Determined –
have clear visions and goals.
Life never offers
anything on a platter of gold, set your face like a flint and never say
‘never’. Do not allow the word ‘impossible’ limit you. Visualize your life in
the next 5 years,10 years and even 20 years and write them down. In writing
this vision, be sure to construct your own definition of success, do not allow
the society or expectations from people define that. Set goals, even when they
don’t seem achievable, break big goals into small goals and the small ones into
smaller goals; you will eventually achieve every one of them. Goals will shape
your focus and lead to the actualization of your visions. Add faith to all of
these and you will conquer all.
#5. Learn to
At this age, there will be lots of things in your life, seeking for your
attention. Prioritizing will help you allocate your time wisely and to the
important things first. Prioritize the different aspects of your life,
from time, work, relationships, to other things like your needs and wants. A
scale of preference will help too.
#6. Educate
yourself as much as possible – read, read and read on all subjects (fashion,
sports, economy, politics, etc), and do so with high retention. A well-read
person is not opinionated and is more likely to make meaningful contribution to
any conversation. More so, it will aid you in communicating intelligently.
Also ask questions and listen more, instead of talking. Remember, he who asks
questions never gets lost.
#7. Make and
cherish like-minded friends
This age comes with lots of emotions. You will have crushes, have affection
towards a guy, possibly experience some disappointments and … It is important
to realize that guys will come and go, but a morally sound group of girlfriends
will be there to help you through life’s ups and downs. “Iron sharpens
iron”. These friends will be the support system you need through all seasons of
life. So don’t forego important friendships in favour of a relationship… Create
a balance. Good friends are hard to find.
#8. Be proud of
who you are
Love your looks, accept your body, skin, shape, features and every bit of asset
you are endowed with. Don’t spend time trying to change you or be someone else.
You are unique and there exists just one version of you. Completely accept this
version, love and beautify it. Experiment and learn what clothing or fashion
trends are best for your body type, and embrace them. If you heed to these,
inferiority complex will be far from you.
#9. Be humble
enough to learn when you err
At 20, the feeling of being all grown and on top of your game can be very
deceptive. The path to greatness is in listening to and accepting corrections
when you err. The act of making mistakes is not as important as the lessons
learnt from them. So don’t be too hard on yourself when you have ‘messed up’.
Instead, take it as a lesson learnt and promise yourself it won’t happen again.
10. Don’t lose the
Child in you
After all said, I’d strongly advise that you should never lose sight of
yourself. At 20 you look all grown and can now be called a woman but you’re
still young enough to have fun and bring out the little kid that’s still left
in you. You still have more growing up experiences ahead of you, settling down,
having children, and giving thought to every other thing under the sun. So, for
now, just be daring and adventurous, play a lot, laugh hard and be teary eyed
or just feel lost sometimes; waiting to be rescued only by mom! These are the
memories you’ll cherish when you look back on these years.
I hope these tips
inspire you to drive into your 20s firing on all cylinders. Don’t hold
back on the opportunities the years ahead will bring, for you will discover
some of the best times of your life in it. Stay strong, stay beautiful, stay
confident but most importantly stay YOU!


Image credit – http://www.newenglandpastaco.com/20-year-celebration


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  • Reply
    Trendy Mother
    August 8, 2015 at 7:59 am

    @Phebean Egbuonu, daaàlu ooo. You finally read it. Lol!
    Thank for your comment

  • Reply
    Trendy Mother
    August 8, 2015 at 7:59 am

    @Phebean Egbuonu, daaàlu ooo. You finally read it. Lol!
    Thank for your comment

  • Reply
    August 8, 2015 at 7:56 am

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • Reply
    Trendy Mother
    August 8, 2015 at 7:54 am

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Reply
    August 8, 2015 at 7:12 am

    Trendy mom,dis is a lovely piece.

  • Reply
    Trendy Mother
    August 7, 2015 at 8:21 am

    @Nkem Okechukwu, the daughter is my yellow sisi lol!
    Yeah I totally agree to your suggestions;
    I love travelling!
    Productive extra curricular activities! This is a good way to give back to society from an early age.
    Thanks dear for these peiceless tips.

  • Reply
    August 7, 2015 at 7:45 am

    First, who is the adopted daughter that i don't know?
    Secondly, great tips! I'll love my 20year old to travel a lot, experience the world so that her horizon can be widened too. Engage in productive extra curricular activities (youth cubs, NGOs, volunteers, etc)
    I wish i did all these in my 20s

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