0
appreciation attitude CHILDREN FAMILY lessons mother upbringing words

12 THINGS KIDS SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A MUM

A piglet once asked her mother “mum,
what are you always searching for in the mud’, the mother answered in her best
voice “when you become a mother, you will find out”!

As a mother, I am often reminded
of the above Sow and piglet discussion, and it brings to mind a new
understanding of the impact my actions, inactions and words had on my mum. 

This
understanding comes with some good hands-on experiences, with my nest filled with little
humans who can now reason, make some decisions, debate and even demand explanation
to some of my requests. I sincerely appreciate an enduring and loving mum who
remains a super mum in spite of having heard a lot of silly words from me. The
same words that evoke the ‘hate’ stare when now thrown back at me!

The words we speak and hear carry enormous weight, much
more than we think. Their impact often last decades, providing courage to press
on or one more reason to give up.  A
careless word can hurt, destroy and eventually kill a mum’s spirit while the
right words aptly spoken can nurture, uplift, inspire and shine through a mum’s
life.

Below are a number of words that
should never be said to a mum:

1.       “I don’t want this food” – One of the
lessons I teach my kids is to appreciate whatever food mum puts on the table. I
always remind them that it takes great effort and planning to put a meal
together and as such, appreciation should be the first word on their lips when a
meal is served.
2.       “I hate you’ – Every variation of
negative or hateful words are like daggers to one’s heart. It tears the soul
and crushes the spirit.  The power of
words can never be over emphasized and as such, let wholesome words come forth
from every child’s lips to a mum.
3.       “You are wicked” – It is not uncommon
for a mum to be the recipient of this outburst after a session of discipline or
grounding. Discipline is a must in the life of every child. Remember he who
spares the rod spoils the child.  The
solution to these word or act is to explain the essence of the discipline. Never
assume that a child is too young to understand. The capacity of a child’s brain
is amazing.
4.       “I will never forgive you” –   I often wonder what a mum can possible do
that is beyond forgiveness? Even though in the ‘mum’s bible’ all deeds are done with
love, so whatever action that is deemed unforgivable was melted with and in
love. May we never forget that a mother’s love is second to none! And so when
and if your kids utter these words, rebuke and give them a piece of our usual
lecture. *wink*.
5.       “Are you really my mum?” – Whenever I
hear these words my mind does a back flip and I wish I had aborted that child
(just kidding). No mum deserves to hear such words irrespective of what her
actions or inactions might be. The journey in and through motherhood is too
audacious to allow for such unguided words.

6.        “You
are old school”
– Should I remind kids that mums grew up in a different era
and may sometime not be as trendy and up to date as our kids might desire?  “You are old school” is not a compliment, it’s
an insult! Compliments on appearances should come with appreciation first and
suggestions later. When I was in my teens, I loved to pick my mum’s dresses, do
her makeup and manicure, often I would put a touch of our ‘new school’ in her
dress pattern. Let’s teach our kids same where possible.
7.       “There is nothing you can do about it”  – These words often comes forth when a child
suddenly remembers that he/she is ‘now’ grown and wants to assert his/her
authority. It is disrespectful and is tantamount to screaming at a mum. Our
children should be gently but firmly taught the act of speaking with tact and
respect.
8.       “No I won’t …!” – Saying this to a mom
in public, in front of friends or in the confines of the home is downright disrespectful.
My antidote to this, is immediate correction and a rephrasing of the word to
“please can I do it later” (i.e if it’s a chore) or “please can I wear my red
shoes?” (If it’s a request).
9.      “You
don’t love me”
– When kids are denied having their own way, they often say this
words in an attempt to mess with the mum’s emotions and manipulate them into
acceptance. Be on the look out! Reaffirm your love but firmly assert your
decision, correction or message at all times.
   “I don’t want/need you in my life” – All
mums know how untrue this line is; no matter the age and height our kids attain
in life, they always have need for their mum. Those whose mother/child
relationship has gone sour will attest to the fact that often time there is a
yearning which only a mum’s love can soothe and fill. So the next time your kid
says those mean words, remind them that both of you are stuck for life.
1    “I’m going to kill myself” or “I will run
away”
– Teenagers
often like to make threats to their mum, it may be suicidal or others. Threats
should never be taken lightly; in as much as it’s not fair on the mum,
appropriate sanction and caution should be applied. And where a psychologist is
required, do not hesitate to pay one a visit as some kids have actualized their
threats when they felt ignored.  
   “Go away” – Kids tend to use these
words when they are annoyed or need their space. If you are an overbearing mum,
give them a breathing space; otherwise teach such a child the importance of
respect and a bridled tongue.
The wise king, Solomon in all his
wisdom understood the power of words; as such he stated that “death and life is
in the power of the tongue” Proverbs 18 v 21.  Spoken words shapes our realities and that of
others.

May we seize every opportunity to teach, guide
and correct every child on the right word to utter to people especially those
with the name tag – ‘MUM’.  

Mothers,
rock!!

You Might Also Like

11 Comments

  • Reply
    Unknown
    October 31, 2014 at 4:31 am

    Mothers rock!

  • Reply
    Ini Ubong
    June 12, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    Trendy mum,
    God’s blessings are upon you and your family.

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    June 12, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    This is most sincere. There had been times when we all have doubted our mother's love especially after being punished. But now we all know it was for our long term good.
    Great piece.

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    June 12, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    This is most sincere. There had been times when we all have doubted our mother's love especially after being punished. But now we all know it was for our long term good.
    Great piece.

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    June 12, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    This is most sincere. There had been times when we all have doubted our mother's love especially after being punished. But now we all know it was for our long term good.
    Great piece.

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    June 12, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    This is most sincere. There had been times when we all have doubted our mother's love especially after being punished. But now we all know it was for our long term good.
    Great piece.

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    June 12, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    This is most sincere. There had been times when we all have doubted our mother's love especially after being punished. But now we all know it was for our long term good.
    Great piece.

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    June 11, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    Hmmmm nice piece but I wouldn't dare any of this as a child or teenager but lately I say this some of this things casually and I thought they were jokes. Am so sorry mum. Thank you ma'am

  • Reply
    Unknown
    June 10, 2014 at 11:52 am

    Nice piece. The one that resonates with me is the first- when I put in a lot of effort, I don't think I can take it if any child of mine passes funny comments about it or refuses to eat. I may smack that child. The only exception will be for allergies. kudos babes!!!

  • Reply
    Unknown
    June 10, 2014 at 10:37 am

    couldn't even dare utter such words, would be long dead.

  • Reply
    Dayo Shogade
    June 9, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    I remember telling my mum some of these words while growing up. They really broke her heart, but she forgave me my utterrances the way only a mother can.

Leave a Reply