And so I paid a visit to
my mentor and poured out my heart and she lovingly advised me from her wealth
of experience. So if you are nursing a baby or currently fagged out from
raising kids, running a home, pursuing a career, building a business or earning
a degree and you are lost on how to get your groove back with your hubby or
that special ‘somebori’; learn from
these practical but insightful tips shared below by my mentor on one of my ‘whining’
sessions.
my mentor and poured out my heart and she lovingly advised me from her wealth
of experience. So if you are nursing a baby or currently fagged out from
raising kids, running a home, pursuing a career, building a business or earning
a degree and you are lost on how to get your groove back with your hubby or
that special ‘somebori’; learn from
these practical but insightful tips shared below by my mentor on one of my ‘whining’
sessions.
The very act of loving is intertwined with living, it cannot
be separated. The act of loving and remaining in love is deliberate, love is a
feeling we all know! But that feeling must be activated and fed. It thrives on
constant communication, thoughtful acts of service, kind words, physical touch,
and deliberate acts of love. Age does not deflect love but familiarity subdues
its power. The wise at heart seizes every moment to create loving memories.
be separated. The act of loving and remaining in love is deliberate, love is a
feeling we all know! But that feeling must be activated and fed. It thrives on
constant communication, thoughtful acts of service, kind words, physical touch,
and deliberate acts of love. Age does not deflect love but familiarity subdues
its power. The wise at heart seizes every moment to create loving memories.
- Get entwined in bed every night
as you lay to sleep, if you are still nursing a baby like I do, place your
baby at the side of the bed and not in between you both or better still
place him/her in a baby cot. Remember that before the child came and after
they are grown, you both will still remain. Therefore, consciously decide
on how your love life and relationship will be after the kids are grown
and out of your nest.
- when overwhelmed seek help, talk to a neutral
party, preferably a mentor or a
respected marriage counselor
- Make out time for dates, it can
be demanding if you rely on crèche
and nannies to take care of the kids during work hours. You can be creative
– a night out with the kid(s) and their dad will be a memory everyone will
cherish.
- Touch, touch and touch some
more, frequent skin contact causes wonders. Psychologist says we all need
at least 13 meaningful touches a day. Hug, hug and hug some more; hug your
hubby when he comes in from work, runs an errand or anytime you have to
usher him from outside. Pat his back, shoulder or playfully hit his chest
as you walk pass each other in the house.
- Use the right words to
appreciate him for any minute effort he contributes at helping out in the
house. Refuse to feel entitled, and endeavor to express yourself when
tired or cranky with the right words. Always ask for help nicely, don’t assume you hubby knows where you need help, remember the book of Proverbs says how
feasible are right words.
- Cook his meal, eat and bath together as often as it is possible, for activities carried out together
increases bonding and fills up the ‘love tank’. Make good use of any
snippets of time to create cherished memories.
- Dress sexy and endeavour to look good; invest in beautiful lingerie, good night wears, bum shorts and
tank tops. Get the wrapper off your
waist and chest!
- Celebrate your spouse with
gifts, do not wait for an occasion do so and it must not be expensive. It
is the thought behind a gift that counts and not the price tag.
- Whenever it is possible,
weekends or weekdays, take a walk around your neighborhood. Hold hands and
laugh at each other’s jokes.
- When possible have family devotions
together; a family that prays together stays together is a popular saying.
- Check up on the goals, visions or dreams
your hubby discussed with you, if
you find time to read the gossip column of your favourite blog, check
on the kids’ school work and assignments, you can make time to discuss,
encourage and challenge him to be
the best. Never forget you are his first cheerleader and fan.
- Resist the urge to indulge in self-pity,
it comes easy and even appealing once you are overwhelmed with house chore
and wok/business pressures. Learn to consciously focus your thoughts on
positives
- Praise your husband (not flatter) and
send him love notes. No matter how unromantic a man is, the right words
are door openers. You can ask the Yorubas (a tribe in Nigeria) why they
sing ‘Oriki’ (Praise) for the king.
- Depending on you schedules,
make out time to write each other a love letter. Hand written words
have some magical effect that BBM
and whats app chats can’t compete
with.
- Baby’s cry for attention might
cut short an intended long passionate sex, be creative with the ‘quickies’.
Above all, Make God the third person in your in your
marriage. Heed the words of the wise king Solomon -“… And a threefold cord is not easily
broken” Ecclesiastes 4 v 12. Keep faith, pray and depend solely on God for
wisdom and direction.
marriage. Heed the words of the wise king Solomon -“… And a threefold cord is not easily
broken” Ecclesiastes 4 v 12. Keep faith, pray and depend solely on God for
wisdom and direction.
Selah!
Image credits – Google
No Comments