FAMILY marriage my groove RELATIONSHIP

GETTING MY GROOVE BACK – 15 Ways To Remain In love 11

And so I paid a visit to
my mentor and poured out my heart and she lovingly advised me from her wealth
of experience. So if you are nursing a baby or currently fagged out from
raising kids, running a home, pursuing a career, building a business or earning
a degree and you are lost on how to get your groove back with your hubby or
that special
‘somebori’; learn from
these practical but insightful tips shared below by my mentor on one of my ‘whining’


The very act of  loving is intertwined with living, it cannot
be separated. The act of loving and remaining in love is deliberate, love is a
feeling we all know! But that feeling must be activated and fed. It thrives on
constant communication, thoughtful acts of service, kind words, physical touch,
and deliberate acts of love. Age does not deflect love but familiarity subdues
its power. The wise at heart seizes every moment to create loving memories.
  1. Get entwined in bed every night
    as you lay to sleep, if you are still nursing a baby like I do, place your
    baby at the side of the bed and not in between you both or better still
    place him/her in a baby cot. Remember that before the child came and after
    they are grown, you both will still remain. Therefore, consciously decide
    on how your love life and relationship will be after the kids are grown
    and out of your nest.

  1.  when overwhelmed seek help, talk to a neutral
    party,  preferably a mentor or a
    respected marriage counselor
  1. Make out time for dates, it can
    be demanding if  you rely on crèche
    and nannies to take care of the kids during work hours. You can be creative
    – a night out with the kid(s) and their dad will be a memory everyone will
  1. Touch, touch and touch some
    more, frequent skin contact causes wonders. Psychologist says we all need
    at least 13 meaningful touches a day. Hug, hug and hug some more; hug your
    hubby when he comes in from work, runs an errand or anytime you have to
    usher him from outside. Pat his back, shoulder or playfully hit his chest
    as you walk pass each other in the house.
  1. Use the right words to
    appreciate him for any minute effort he contributes at helping out in the
    house. Refuse to feel entitled, and endeavor to express yourself when
    tired or cranky with the right words. Always ask for help nicely, don’t assume you hubby knows where you need help, remember the book of Proverbs says how
    feasible are right words. 
  1.  Cook his meal, eat and bath together as often as it is possible, for activities carried out together
    increases bonding and fills up the ‘love tank’. Make good use of any
    snippets of time to create cherished memories.
  1. Dress sexy and endeavour to look good; invest in beautiful lingerie, good night wears, bum shorts and
    tank tops. Get the wrapper off  your
    waist and chest!
  1. Celebrate your spouse with
    gifts, do not wait for an occasion do so and it must not be expensive. It
    is the thought behind a gift that counts and not the price tag.
  1. Whenever it is possible,
    weekends or weekdays, take a walk around your neighborhood. Hold hands and
    laugh at each other’s jokes.
  1.  When possible have family devotions
    together; a family that prays together stays together is a popular saying.
  1.  Check up on the goals, visions or dreams
    your hubby discussed with you, if 
    you find time to read the gossip column of your favourite blog, check
    on the kids’ school work and assignments, you can make time to discuss,
    encourage  and challenge him to be
    the best. Never forget you are his first cheerleader and fan.
  1. Resist the urge to indulge in self-pity,
    it comes easy and even appealing once you are overwhelmed with house chore
    and wok/business pressures. Learn to consciously focus your thoughts on
  1.  Praise your husband (not flatter) and
    send him love notes. No matter how unromantic a man is, the right words
    are door openers. You can ask the Yorubas (a tribe in Nigeria) why they
    sing ‘Oriki’ (Praise) for the king.

  1. Depending on you schedules,
    make out time to write each other a love letter. Hand written words
    have  some magical effect that BBM
    and whats app chats  can’t compete
  1. Baby’s cry for attention might
    cut short an intended long passionate sex, be creative with the ‘quickies’.
Above all,  Make God the third person in your in your
marriage. Heed the words of the wise king Solomon  -“… And a threefold cord is not easily
broken” Ecclesiastes 4 v 12. Keep faith, pray and depend solely on God for
wisdom and direction.

Image credits – Google

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