baby bereavement death father loss pain sympathy


A few weeks ago, two of my close friends lost some very dear
loved ones. One lost her two months old baby and the other her father, I
honestly feel pained for them. I silently wished my prayers could wipe their
tears and heal their hurt. I could relate with the loss of a father but could
not imagine the loss of a baby.

Every time I think of the loss these dear
friends have suffered, I offer a prayer for their comfort.

I hope this message – “When will I stop
hurting?” from Bob Perks comforts you both and every other aching soul who is
mourning a loss.

“I lost a
loved one nearly a year ago. When will I stop hurting?”

The question was simple but difficult to answer.
She was challenging me. I wanted to help her, but I knew that only she could
answer that question.

Whenever someone writes to tell me about a
death, I always talk about the difficult months ahead. I refer to it as a
“Year of Firsts.” The first holiday, birthday, anniversary, summer
picnic or other personal event without that loved one.

Then there are those little things you never
really paid attention to before, but now find a gaping hole right in the middle
of your day. Like the time they woke up each morning, how they had their
coffee, the sound the door made around dinner time when they arrived home and
the way they said “hello.”

But there was something about this message today
that made me stop and really think about what I needed to say. Oddly, I decided
that the pain she was feeling was a good thing, but I wasn’t sure she wanted to
know that.

Here is exactly what I wrote to her: When will
you stop hurting? That is a measure of the love you shared and how does one
measure love? By remembering them long after they are gone. 

“Memories” are the shadows of a life well lived that remain long
after the light of their being has gone out. May you never forget. “Pain”
is the echo of remembering those special moments when all the world belonged to
the both of you. The day will come when the pain of remembering turns into
understanding the privilege of ever having them in your life at all.
Remembering will be a joy. Although the pain is great at times you are reminded
still, how very much you loved and were loved.

May the rest of your life be a reflection of
that love and when your time comes may your passing cast long shadows for all
who loved you, too.

A final thought . . . 

“We die twice.  Once with our last
breath and then when that last person who remembers us takes their last breath.
 Live in such a way that you will never be forgotten”.  

Full credits: Bob Perks writes for [email protected]

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  • Reply
    Trendy Mother
    May 14, 2014 at 8:34 pm

    @Annie Samson-akpan, am glad you learnt some thing.

    @Ani Umoh, you are right, we appreciate how precious life is after we lose someone dear

  • Reply
    May 10, 2014 at 6:07 am

    Thank you ….
    That's all i can say .

    Thank you

  • Reply
    May 9, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    Very true and encouraging, indeed death has taken sum1 dear to me, the thoughts of my daddy now makes me appreciate every moment we ever shared together. Life is indeed precious, lets live right.

  • Reply
    May 9, 2014 at 7:40 am

    Nice one…I love dis

  • Reply
    Annie Samson-akpan
    May 9, 2014 at 6:22 am

    I hav finally found the meaning of how i feel after almost 2yrs of daddy's passing. @times I didn't wonna think about him because of the pain n hurt that came with the thot becus I miss him so much. Now, my pain is turning into "understanding the priviledge" of ever havin him around.
    Great piece!

  • Reply
    May 8, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    Nice piece. More reason why we should make the most of every moment with our loved ones else, the pain of their loss will be more of guilt and not of the shocking reality of their forever absence

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