CHILDREN FAMILY Motherhood musing parenthood peace talks RELATIONSHIP sibling rivalry

PEACE TALKS – The Battle for Supremacy

I can’t help but write about
the event of this evening. An exciting and thought provoking incident!
I came into the living
room with the intention to lounge – sit, stretch my legs and watch the television
till sleep comes. But just as my butt hit the cushion, my ladies came bustling
to possess their choice and coveted spot – mummy’s laps! Whoever settles in
first ensures she takes full  possession
of the whole space with no intention of sharing.

This battle for supremacy
on my laps is almost a daily event. Some days I enjoy it, other days (like
today) I just long for peace. Today, Mimi was the first to settle in, and then
Didi came along to claim her ‘right’! Didi, who is almost two years old, feels
that Mimi who is over three years should not occupy her territory – ‘mom’s
laps’. Telling them to leave the “sought-after territory resulted in crying and
I wasn’t ready for such after a busy and tiring day.

 What a struggle! And in a living room that is
quite spacious! Ummh! I wonder how our parents coped with 5 to 10 children. I
honestly can’t comprehend. They are truly veterans in family affairs.

So here I have two
toddlers with arms folded across their chest and faces frowned (that is their
anger pose) starring at me to decide who gets the spot. To be a good judge, I
begun my peace talks; *rolling eyes*.  Being a mom has taught me diverse skills and
here we go –

“Mimi sit this way (left side of the coveted
spot), Didi sit this way (right side). Then the talk begins:
Me: “Mimi, how many sisters do you have?
Mimi: Didi (She never answers this question by
stating the obvious)
Me: If it’s only Didi, then you must always
love, protect and share all you have with her…..”Did you hear me?
Mimi: Yes mummy
Me: Didi, say I’m sorry to your sister
Didi: “sowie” 
– ‘rubbing Mimi’s head’
Me: Good girls. Hug yourselves (Didi will
always consummate this process with a grin. I wish I can read her mind!)
Case closed and settled. Wow!!
Peace at last!!
 Most times, before the ‘peace talks’ ends, you
will find them playing and giggling away. In all honesty, I admire and learn
daily from their actions. Life and relationship should be this easy for everyone.

I beleive you know that
Rebecca’s sons fought from the womb? Genesis 25:23 says “Two children struggled
with each other in her womb”. Therefore the battle between siblings otherwise
referred to as ‘siblings’ rivalry’ did not start today. My role is to broker
peace, be an impartial judge and a merciful jury. Even though, sometimes it
baffles me that a twenty month old is stage ready for this battle- maybe it is
in the subconscious!

So fascinating is the
fierceness that accompanies the struggle. Last weekend, I opened some new sets
of toys I have been keeping because of age limit and understanding, when
another scuffle began.  Mimi being
stronger and taller immediately claimed all the toys and Didi was ready as
always to put up a fight for her “right”. She struggled and screamed …..  What followed was another peace conference.

Did you know that
Siblings rivalry is healthy? According to Baby Centre UK,  it can help develop the skills needed for
future relation and at other times translate to good bonding amongst siblings
Sibling rivalry is
an inevitable part of family life when you have more than one child. It’s
probably unrealistic to expect your children to love and support each other all
of the time without any form of conflict. Some experts affirm that sibling
conflict is an opportunity for your children to learn the skills they will need
in their future relationships.

As I observe new and
interesting episodes courtesy of with my kids daily, I read up to keep abreast
and learn ‘hands on’ experience to manage and guide them. You can read more at http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1017389/helping-siblings-bond

I know I’m not alone in
this. Share your negotiation tactics and its successes too (*winks*). I will be

Image credit: – Impactparenting.com

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  • Reply
    February 22, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    I often have the same experiences as yours(author) and trust me, its not easy at all managing the two especially when they of the same sex. We just keep trusting God to bless us with his wisdom to be the best parents, we possibly can be.

  • Reply
    Trendy Mother
    November 5, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    Yes o, Nkem I can't imagine such struggle. Your parent are great people o for it's not beans! Lol

  • Reply
    Trendy Mother
    November 5, 2013 at 7:39 pm

    Thank you for reading and dropping your comment

  • Reply
    November 5, 2013 at 5:29 am

    Hmmm, all I can remember is growing up with 6 other kids and how we managed to fight out our spaces on mum's laps and dad's back. Lovely piece of peace talk Rowslyn. Nkem

  • Reply
    November 4, 2013 at 8:41 pm

    Interesting piece with great lessons to learn as always!

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