It is safe to say that a good number of adult have experienced teenage crush. Strictly my opinion though, please all ye trendy mamas don’t roll your eyes; for I am certain that a number of us did not sail into “love” harbor without the turbulence of confused desire and strong emotions. Infact I know  that our love relationships were not prophesied by angel Gabriel, as such we went through the emotional roller coaster. *rolling eyes*. I can say we once had drolly eyes for some guy that did not know we felt faint headed and had butterflies in our tummy every time he walked passed. Say less of day dreaming or giggling at the thought of this “fantasy guy” engaging us in a conversation. Lol! C.R.U.S.H!!

In all honesty, my “teenage crush” experience would have been different if I was privy to the advice below –

My daughter was in first grade when she came home visibly upset. She didn’t want to talk about it for the longest time. Finally, later she opened up and let me know that some other kids found out who she “had a crush on”, and they were teasing her. It broke her heart. At the time I just empathized with her, but we had a great conversation later.

I told her that as her parent, she’s my responsibility. I told her I have to protect her and care for her, and feed her, and make sure I don’t let her drive the car until she’s old enough, and a ton of other responsibilities. That’s my job. I’m not allowed to leave her out in the yard, or even leave her home alone until she’s old enough or let her watch anything she wants on TV. I wouldn’t be caring for her if I did that.

I then explained to her that she also has a responsibility to protect and care for her affections. She must care for her heart. The reason it hurt so bad when others mocked is that her affections were “left out in the yard” way too early. They weren’t ready to be there. There may be a time when the “crush” happens, but it’s way too early for that to take root and be fed. She must make it a priority to keep her heart safe and not let feelings go uncontrolled.

There is a place to awaken love. There are many more places love should never be allowed to go. This is true for men and women. We must guard our hearts. We must guard our affections.

Dr.  Carl Pickhardt in surviving (your child’s) adolescence identified two kinds of crushes: 

1. Identity crush which are formed by finding someone whom you admire, want to become like. Such you treat like a leader or model and are eager to imitate and follow.
2. Romantic crush which are formed by finding someone whom you find powerfully attracted to, who you feel excited to be around, and with whom you want to spend a lot of time with.

We often fall victim to the romantic crush, which always lead to a futile end. To my trendy mamas in the making (all ye single beauties), do not “leave your affection in the yard”. Guide it jealousy and give it ONLY to someone who will reciprocate it in love, commitment and godliness. To my trendy mamas, let us teach our wards to guide their affection, better still; let us all guide our HEART diligently…….!!

Credits – [email protected].

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