Friends are great to have, hold and love. I often imagine how boring our walk through life would be without the spice of friendship. Friends are priceless as they complement every aspect of our lives, they often serve as our adviser, loyalist, stylist/designer, experiment specie, gossip and mischief mate, merry and ‘waka’ partner, and the list is unending.
Friends come in different shades, most are dependable while a few others are what we often refer to as ‘fair weather’ friends. These friends are often not available when you need them and can be gone for months without a word – ‘hello’ or ping. A few of them even secretly envy your progress.
Others only call or make contact when they need your help, want to use your stuff or need a favour. In my personal lexicon, I call them friends with benefits. (Not in the regular context….)
I recently got a call from a friend whom I hadn’t heard from in a long while; the call was to ask for a favour.(not to check on me o but to send me on an errand). My first reaction was to snub her but for the wise words of one I call my chief adviser (hubby), who taught me something new. He told me that everyone I have ever called a friend had impacted my life positively be it now or in the past. Focus your thoughts on that one time she came through for you, he said; that melting point that made you place the referral ‘friend’ on her. Let that be the ‘grudge’ you carry or the judgment rod you hold over that relationship, he concluded.
With such deep insight, I took a minute and reflected, and then I remembered a noble and brave deed this friend once did for me years back and every other misdemeanor paled into insignificance. I unreservedly offered the help she needed and she was happy.
My initial reluctance at responding to her call remained a secret, my perception of her person needless but her help/blessing in time past remained invaluable.
Don’t get it twisted, I am not suggesting you open your life to hurt, pain or parasitic relationships, I only advise you chose to bless and not revenge when an opportunity from those ‘kinda’ friends avails itself.
I’ll conclude by saying, as we daily relate and make friends, take a stand to rise above the hate, hurts, dashed expectations and unfulfilled longing that sometimes comes with relationships. Chose to be a blessing!
That is only when your light shines in the dark!!
Images credits: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/201301/when-is-it-good-have-few-close-friends