Hello Trendy mothers, today my binoculars are on you all, oh yess! You and you and you!!
A trendy mother is a woman who seems (on the outside) to have all facets of her life working harmoniously, she is that woman that excels in her role as a wife, mother, career or business and still look beautiful. Every blossoming woman’s dream is to become such an amazon one day, it is truly a dream and one, that may never materialize, but the ‘trendy mums’ are willing to go on that journey and enjoy ourselves while at it.
In reality, no woman wearing the multiple hats of wife, mother, home maker, business mogul or career woman has it all together. We all have experienced a bit of a struggle in handling these roles, a wise woman (Ibukun Awosika) once said “assign each role its priority per day as the needs arise” However strive to attain a similitude of success in these different responsibilities. The tips below have worked for me, hence my desire to share them with you;
Take it one day at a time – the bible says “..sufficient for the the day is its own trouble” endeavor to daily space out your work schedule, do not try to fit everything into one day. Piled up laundry or an unkempt hair of your kid doesn’t qualify one as a bad mother or home manager, desist from self-incrimination. You may not always be the one to make the lunch or kiss the kids’ good night, make use of the support structure you have and on days you can fit in these tasks, create memories while handling it.
Ask for help– there are no medals for super woman, besides they haven’t been created yet, do not try to become one, ask for help from your spouse, other house members, guests and even older kids. Do not underestimate the power in the word ASK. ‘Busyness’ is not a title neither is it an award, stop drowning in it.
Delegate with commensurate authority but do not abdicate – to delegate effectively, first agree on task in the home or business you wish to delegate and allow the person take responsibility with minimal supervision when necessary. We all know that no ‘touch’ can be as good as ‘mamas’, however be rest assured that there is nothing that cannot be fixed if not properly handled. Don’t assign someone to a task and yet be the ‘monitoring spirit’. Do make time to learn from great women like Indra Nooyi, Ibukun Awosika etc, their experiences are invaluable
.Create a routine and build it into a planner – there is no wisdom in duplicating efforts/activities. Have a routine for the kids, laundry, bulk cooking, Shopping, etc. Have a weekly and monthly plan and work within it with little variations. Search for and employ the services of people that can help put your plans to work (nanny, laundry man, driver etc as your budget allow) We only have 24 hours in a day, don’t put everything on that clock. Avoid unscheduled stops at the shop or market every day for items you would have catered for with bulk buying. Gently but firmly guide everyone in your immediate sphere adjust to the planned routine and try to work with or around it.
Have a meal plan – that can be tweaked as the need arise for ease of cooking and to serve as a guide. There is no gain in adding planning for your family’s daily meal to the many task your brain has to handle each day. However, if you are married to ‘our village chief’ who demands fresh soups and stews daily. You may with wisdom try to innovate or lovingly guide your husband to go with what is available. Wherever possible train expectations to align with your plan
Have an uninterrupted ME and Family time –uninterrupted in all ramifications, don’t put food on the cooker and have family movie time or games time or even family discussion time. The constant interruptions will spoil the fun. self-exhaustion is every mother’s sucker punch. Don’t allow it get you! Schedule your ME time and protect it.
Have a plan to develop YOU – After nurturing and growing others, you need to look back at yourself and be satisfied that YOU have been nourished along the way. Nourishing yourself maybe professional self-development (educational qualifications) for many, new business concerns for others, periodic self-pampering for another and the list goes on. Whatever the plan maybe, the goal is to attain self-fulfillment. Pouring of yourself into others – kids, spouse, direct reports etc, can be draining, so endeavor to step back and refill when necessary.
.Love yourself – a mother often loves her kids and family above herself. Intentionally show love to YOU, eat healthy, sleep well, rest well, laugh well, be happy for no reason, you have one life, live and thrive, do not just EXIST
Have a support network – if you are blessed with a good spouse, you have a good ‘home support’ however you still need a few ‘mamas’, mentors and friends to speak with, exchange tips or even empty your burdened soul to at ‘those times’. Ensure you have one or two
Pray– you know the power of a woman who tackles her issues on her knees is insurmountable. Read the word of God, confess it and pray it to offer direction, build your trust, to calm you through life’s storms and keep you sane when the grounds around you seems to sink.
However, do not forget that each life phase or season comes with its demand (children feeding, education, work project or educational pursuit). Learn to manage what you have on your front burner per time with wisdom and help from your support network. Enjoying the journey called LIFE should be the GOAL and not necessarily achieving a balance.
The life of God dwells in us all, we are meant to be kings (queens) so RULE unapologetically.
Love and kisses