Sunday was very eventful for me, apart from being the highly celebrated father’s day, a good friend sent me this “wives must read” experience. It’s a great lesson on trust. In her words –
After service my hubby said that we should go to a popularly grocery store on the Island to shop for groceries. I told him that our small neighborhood store was better off because the prices were lower. My hubby insisted, so off we went. When yours truly got to the store, I went around looking at prices instead of shopping! (Some wives ehhn!). I noticed the prices of some of the items were higher compared to the prices at the neighbourhood. The prices were either fifty or hundred naira higher, while others were as high as two hundred naira (this is buying bulk o!). As I walked through the aisle , I kept calculating mentally the cash we would have saved if my bobo had listened to my humble advice. “I am doing all this (trying to save) because of him” (you all know that line of thought), I mused. This thought prompted me to ask my hubby for the third time “do you want us to do our monthly grocery shopping here?” He answered a bit irritated -”babes, I have told you to go ahead, this is the third time you are inquiring”. I mumbled an apology and continued shopping (abi walking round looking at prices. LOL!).
When we were done, we proceeded to the check out counter and had the cashier compute our bill and surprisingly a family friend walked up behind us joining us on the queue. We exchanged the needed pleasantries. On confirming the cost of the items, hussy brought out his debit card to make a cashless payment, only for our dear friend to dole out crispy notes and said the bill should be on him. Hussy and I were taken aback as the friend insisted to bear the cost. We said our appreciation and towed the already packed trolley out of the store. As we drove home, my dear hussy had a good laugh at my seeming prudence and the eventual turn of events. In defense I tried to explain that a wife eats and plans for tomorrow while a girl friend eats and cleans her mouth (as in, girl friend no dey chop remain – girlies make una no vex ooo). Frankly, it was glaring that I had become used to planning and budgeting (as if I be graduate of economic and planning) that even when I needed to relax and listen, I could not. All in a bid to assist my man achieve more with his resources. Na wa oo! .
I know that so many wives and mothers are guilty of this planning and budgeting thing! (take it easy o!). A friend once joked that she can never miss a pen and paper in her hang bag as she constantly have to write down her expenses – yessss! and she is a 21st century mama with all the gadgets, but writing “it” on paper is her style! The bad thing about this our “imposed work without pay” is that after a while, we get so worked up, feeling that we are making so much sacrifice then resentment sets in. (who send us? Help me ask O!)
My friend’s experience reminded me of the need to trust, lay back and allow my man be in charge. God placed these men in our lives to make life easier not complicated. It further reminded me of the first input I had in my “marriage journal” (started keeping one immediately I got married) – babe you need to trust this guy with your affairs, try not to look out for yourself after he has made plans. Relax!” As an independent babe (smiles), when I got married I struggled with trusting my man to handle every thing.
After reading through her mail, I have asked myself do I entirely allow my hubby take charge?
Wifeys, let’s all learn to relax, listen and allow our men take charge! They are truly the head of family affairs!