It was September of 2018 and the time had come for our first daughter to move on to secondary school. She was the mini mum in the house and at her age (10) she could take charge of some home chores without supervision.
Amidst of all the fanfare of transitioning we (hubby & I) had assumed that our younger kids would step into those shoes.
We were hit with the reality of things on the first Saturday after Zee left for school and the chores were left undone.
I couldn’t understand why my weekends were now very busy and hubby had to be picking up after these two youngsters.
The following conversation ensued to understand what the issues were:
Daddy: Maya & Dabe, now that Zee is not around, you have to learn to do all that she does for me.
Maya & Dabe: What does she do for you?
Daddy: She cleans my room, gets me my medication, takes my shoes out of the care and cleans my toilet.
Maya & Dabe: Toilet???? No Daddy please.
Daddy: Yes, toilet. You’ll have learn to do it
Dabe: Well, it’s not my turn yet. Whenever Maya goes to school then it’ll be my turn. Smart girl, our very own S.A.N
Maya: Daddy, you’ll have to find a way to manage Dabe and Me. We cannot be Zee you hear?
Daddy & Mummy: Shaking our heads, we realized we had placed expectations on these two without testing the waters first.
How often do we have expectations of others or believe that others will pick up some responsibilities on our behalf?
We need to be upfront with what we want people to do for us and take time to confirm they are onboard with these ideas.
Image credit – Google and www.innerchange.com