As a 23-year-old, I was skinny, shy, and very insecure.
I hated my dry skin, dry palms, long neck, flat butts, and the bones that stuck around my neck. Now I know it is called a “beauty bone.”
These so-called beauty bones gawked at me every time I dared to stare in the mirror, and I struggled to cover them up by wearing turtleneck blouses.
I also hated my school because it was far from home, in a strange city with a different culture and people. I struggled to fit in.
I did not have any friends either, so lack and sapa befriended me, and I made friends with them too!
I had a picture of what I wanted out of life but could not figure out how to achieve it. I was drowning in a pit of self-pity and hate dug with my hands – and would not accept help nor speak up about my struggles.
On my birthday that year, I took myself to a lonely eatery, bought myself a tiny cake, and ate it with tears in my eyes. I questioned my existence, features, struggles, disappointments, insecurities, and fears. I could only visualize a bleak future with no prospect of affection or growth.
As I stared at my scrawny hands and rehearsed all my depressing thoughts; It finally dawned on me that loving myself was a decision I had to make! No one could do that for me.
I left that eatery determined to love and accept myself and my situation. It. was the first step of many more on the journey of loving ME.
Over the years, I have learned to practice the art of self-grace. Self-grace involves treating my body, mind, and spirit with renewed kindness. It includes forgiving my errors and recognizing that it is okay not to be okay sometimes.
I have learned to love and accept myself with all my imperfections. I have learned to pace myself and be my sole competitor rather than compare myself to some unrealistic societal standards.
I know that life cannot be all rosy; there will be days we feel disenchanted, battle with our self-esteem, make mistakes and feel like the worst human walking the earth. On others, we feel overwhelmed with worries and unending ‘to-dos’, we criticize ourselves and wallow in negative emotions.
At those times, I try my best to process my negative emotions objectively because they are as important as the positive ones. When you meet your negative emotions with acceptance, it serves as a pointer to taking better steps in the future.
Self-gracefulness is incomplete without taking action.
In my case, I forgave myself for loathing my physical looks and decided to love my body. I then embraced the love others showered on me and never had to spend my birthdays lonely and miserable.
When you falter, remember to greet yourself with grace. When you feel overwhelmed and uninspired, greet yourself with the same grace.
So here is one Question for you.
In what area of your life do you need to be more graceful with yourself?
Image credits – https://unsplash.com/@tirzavandijk
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